In early November I accepted a new management position with the current company I am employed by. It was definitely a big change in my life, and a big change in the developement of my boxing journey, which, has essentially BECOME my life. It was the start of something new, but not neccessarily for the better. I never really question the things that happen in my life anymore. That old adage of "everything happens for a reason" has been a phrase overused, and overplayed. I've been guilty of jumping into things whole-heartedly on many occasions, sometimes for no better reason than believing that "everything happens for a reason". When things get introduced in my life, it's hard not to find a reason, especially when you're looking for one.
When Joe Phillips intoduced me to Syd, I KNEW there was a reason. In the upcoming weeks at Destiny(BBSV-Boxing By Syd Vanderpool) I KNEW I was at the right place. To this day I still believe in that. Destiny's Gym is my home. Shortly after my decision to train with Syd, the opportunity came to take a job in Waterloo. Although I had very mixed feelings about it(I was extremely happy where I was), I took the job, I really felt that EVERYTHING in my life was pulling toward Kitchener/Waterloo. I even considered moving and selling my house. I didn't question it, I embraced the new chance at a new life.
After my exhibition with Devin McAndrew things started to really snowball in a downhill fashion and fast. I'll spare you all the details, but I'll add some things together and you can do the math. My depression always hits me hardest in the winter. I think this is a very common thing that many people share, especially people that suffer from depression. This year was no different for me, but I actually was able to do better than most years this time, I think because I was so busy trying to balance my life I didn't have time to absorb it!Haters were coming on strong in my blog, and I also felt that being a manager with many of my staff reading my blog affected my ability to write honestly, especially when I leave myself so vulnerable at times with the way I write.I was in a leadership role, I didn't want people coming into work doubting my ability to lead. So I stopped blogging. Again. My job was demanding, specifically the hours. It was very common for me to leave the restaurant at 5am, get home at 6am, get to sleep by 630am and then get up at 830am to spar at the gym for 10am. I was spending less time at the gym, and the times that I was there, I was struggling, one sparring session Syd just pulled me out of there, I wasn't moving, he wouldn't let me continue, guys were just playing tee-ball with my head. Syd used to always ask me how I FELT each time he saw me, now he was asking me how much SLEEP I got the night before. I wasn't putting the time in that I needed, not devoting the extra time required for me to succeed. Less time in the gym can only mean one thing. And not only can I not afford to spend less time in the gym, I need to be there twice or even three times longer than anyone else. Something had to give. Then I cancelled a session with Syd irresponsibly, and that was it, something gave.
Some changes have been made. Lucas Rowe(more about Lucas later) has taken over my private sessions. Syd has stepped back for the moment but is still actively involved in my developement, seeing me once a week in a semi-private session. And of course supervises most if not all of the sparring, so Syd is around, and sees everything, and knows exactly what is going on with his fighters, and where they are at. He knew where I was at, and thus made the change, I don't think it was because he doesn't believe in me anymore, or doesn't want this for me, but something had to change. Syd once said to me that as long as I was 100% committed, that he was 100% in . Well I wasn't 100% committed. so changes were made. When Syd sat me down to discuss where we were at, he told me a story, that led to this punchline "You can't want it more than the fighter". I got the message. I know Syd likes me. I know he is passionate about what he does. But he can't want this dream of mine more than me, nor he can do the work for me. So although there has been a change, it changes nothing, boxing is my priority, my dream means everything. Other changes had to be made.
To futher shorten this story, I sat down with my boss and long time friend(brothers really, we've been through a lifetime of stuff together) and he gave me some options, I stepped down from managing, and went back to serving at my old location. It cuts down my hours in half, and will allow me to train the way I want to. It has already made a big difference. I'm resting, I'm putting the extra work in, I'm training harder than ever. I'm grateful to Dan, although things didn't work out the way we both hoped it would, he still made it possible for me to keep my life in a situation where I can make this dream happen. To box. He's a fighter himself, having competed on the international level in Tae Kwon Do, he understands how important this is to me. Now that I'm not managing anymore, I also feel more comfortable in writing the blog, I can put more "out there" and not feel that there will be a consequence to it.
Pretty long blog entry, we're almost caught up though. I'll talk about Jamaica, meeting Lenox Lewis, I'll address the 'haters', update my current training schedule, and most importantly what is next...The Golden Gloves Championships in April, where I will do my best to make our team! Stay posted, the best is yet to come...
