This journey is a painful one no doubt. Emotionally painful at times, physically painful almost all the time. Lately it seems I am spending so much time trying to recover physically during the day that I don't have time for much else. My day when I'm not at work consists of icing, stretching, salt baths, ice baths, and frequent visits to my old friend Dr.T. Always trying to get my body in good enough condition just so I can train the next day. I am starting to feel a little pressure, I so badly want a fight date so I can start my mission to become a professional boxer. I know Syd won't let me fight until he feels that I am ready. Everytime I step into the ring to spar, I want to do well, I need to prove that I can defend myself, that I can compete, that I can move and box like a Syd Vanderpool student. I know that this will only come from hard work, the extra work I put in when I'm not with Syd. There hasn't been much of that lately, I still haven't missed a day, but the hours I feel that are required for me to improve my conditioning and skills aren't being put in. I'm simply too banged up right now. Syd would like me to inform him of any injuries I have but at this point I would rather just shut up and do the work. My back is still very tight, my rib still bruised and tender, I have a new black eye(which doesn't prevent me from moving like other injuries so that one doesn't really count) and now my left shoulder is sore. The pain was so excruciating the other day, I wasn't able to lift my arm across my body. I iced and ended up training with Syd anyway, biting throught the pain. Of course if Syd reads the blog he'll know anyway but right now it is important for me to show some toughness. Not only to Syd, but to myself.
I lack a certain mental toughness that other experienced boxers have. All boxers come to a point eveyday in training when they are exhausted and their bodies want to give up and it feels that they can't go on. This is when their will takes over. Your will stands before your body, it is your will that will decide whether your body will quit, or whether it will endure. Although I am improving in this category, I'm still nowhere close to where I should be. I feel that when I spar, I feel pressure, I'm stiff and I move slowly. My feet are heavy and my hands are slow. I take WAY too many shots to the head than I should. Everything I spent hours of practice on just doesn't come together and I am left in the ring, not breathing properly, thinking too much(or not enough!) and running out of gas quickly. Near the end of most of my sparring rounds I am practically running for my life, actually it is quite opposite, I'm not running at all because I'm too tired to move and it seems I'd rather get punched in the head, because if I move my legs, I actually might fall over! But I AM getting better, and you just have to take a look around the gym to find inspiration at any given point in the day. Everybody there, from the pro boxers, to the amateurs, to the ladies just trying to stay in shape, they all have tremendous will, and more heart than me. I strive to be like them, they inspire me all the time, everyday. There is NO quit in anyone that trains there. So, there can't be any quit in me, if I want to fit in, and be like them.
I know that my body will continue to suffer, at least until I can get it in better condition to sustain the amount of abuse I need it to take in order to train. Hell 2 years ago I was in the best shape of my life training with SJW, I know I can get there again. Until then, I'll just keep plugging along, trying to improve, improve just enough for Syd to say the words I'm longing to hear, 'we're ready for a fight'.
